Oh, it's Halloween!

What I love about Halloween…

The sound of laughter in the air.

The abundance of candy corn piled to the sky at the store,

The social acceptance of dressing like a whore!

The horror movies that finally get some time on TV,

The excuse to listen to more horror stories by King Diamond.

The little Lady Gagas and Justin Biebers ringing my door bell,

the ease of abducting kiddos as they come to my home 

the trick of slaughtering my newfound captives who were looking for a treat

the missing people reports showing off my skills on the late-night news

the police pounding down my door

the cuffs cutting off circulation to my now blue hands

the daily beatings I receive to my head and torso in the prison courtyard

the elegant voice of the priest reading me my last rites

the smooth feel of the hemp rope snuggled around my shaven neck

the weightlessness I feel as the bottom drops out

the light that fla   s   h       e   

(R)iPhone

Sitting on a cluttered desk

Lopsided from a frightening fall off a deck

Its cold aluminum back bent.

It was the talk of the town when it was built,

Now it watches as the new model takes its place,

Like a horse who can no longer win a race.

The black slab thinks back to all the grand times it had

To a time when it was gladly held

To the thousands of jams it played in A minor

Like an old jukebox in a ‘50s diner.

Its mirrored surface still reflects the morning sun

Even though it goes without being seen.

Its owner has moved on,

Its glory days are long gone.

Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Bill Cosby

The following is an homage to Wallace Stevens' Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird.

Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Bill Cosby

I.
Among the twenty terrible sweaters
The only moving thing
Was the Bill Cosby.

II.
I watched three ads
On TV
In which there were three Cosbys.

III.
The Cosby zip zap zoos
It was a part of his act.

IV.
A Jello Pudding and a New Coke
Are one.
A Jello Pudding a New Coke and a Bill Cosby
Are one.

V.
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of Jello Jigglers
Or the beauty of dad sweaters,
The Cosby floobity doobity
Or just after.

VI.
Pudding cups filled the long window
With BPA-filled waste.
The shadow of the Cosby
Crossed it, y'see?
The Cosby
Encased in a sweater
A zany spokesman.

VII.
O thin man of Brooklyn,
Why do you imagine healthy snacks?
Do you not see how the Cosby
Prances around the TV
To sell you chocolaty chemicals?

VIII.
I know the Huxtables
And I know the Kids Say the Darndest Things;
But I know, too,
That the Cosby was involved
in Fat Albert.

IX.
When the Cosby quit TV,
It marked the end
Of a television era.

X.
At the sight of Cosby
Gliding in a green sweater,
Even the stiffs of Boringtown
Would laugh out loudly.

XI.
He road over Brooklyn
In a Volvo PV 544.
Once, a fear pierced him.
In that he mistook
The life he lived
For Cosby's.

XII.
The New Coke is flowing,
The Cosby must be kerfufflin'.

XIII.
It was daytime all night.
It was hot.
It was going to get hotter.
The Cosby sat
With Jello Pudding Pops in hand.