Overheard at Starbucks 2: The Revenge

"I secede from the union," remarked the grizzly-voiced man adding half & half and sugar to his drip coffee. "I give everybody a day to get out. I would kick them out immediately, but it's Christmas. That sounds fair, right?"

His friend chuckles and mutters something or other to show that he is listening, but has nothing really to add. The grizzled man continues: "Californians gotta get out now." His friend continues to play the role of Paul Shaffer.

Paul Shaffer seen here on The Letterman Show (Image courtesy of disney.wikia.com)

"You're not even from the south," his friend finally gets a sentence out.

"The blacks can stay," the man says, playing off of his friend's reference to the American Civil War. "But the Californians gotta go!" Finally done adding cream and sugar to his drink, the secessionist and his friend wander off to find a seat in the crowded Starbucks.

Overheard at Starbucks...

A swarm of young ladies enter the Starbucks, all wearing identical black yoga pants and brown boots. The headbandded gal declares to the world, "I LOVE STARBUCKS!" The group discusses what they are all getting.

One member of the pack says that she's not getting anything. "You're not getting any Starbs?" questions the headbandded gal to her non-conformist friend. "I'll buy you a Starbs! It's cold out, you have to get some Starbs."

They order their non-fat beverages and move on, only leaving behind what is quite possibly the dumbest nickname for Starbucks.

The "Amazing" Spider-Man

Dear whoever made The Amazing Spider-Man (I don't care to look up your name),

Watching somebody browse the web doesn't make for a compelling scene. I browse the web too much as is. I don't need to watch somebody else do it.

Sincerely,
Jeffery

P.S.
Why did you feel the need to make Spider-Man be Teen Wolf?