Unpublished

A couple of months back, I submitted my Bill Cosby poem to Landescapes, an art journal put on at WSU. They rejected it. But fuck it. I think it's a funny poem. So, I present to a reprise of Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Bill Cosby.


Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Bill Cosby

I.
Among the twenty terrible sweaters
The only moving thing
Was the Bill Cosby.

II.
I watched three ads
On TV
In which there were three Cosbys.

III.
The Cosby zip zap zoos
It was a part of his act.

IV.
A Jello Pudding and a New Coke
Are one.
A Jello Pudding a New Coke and a Bill Cosby
Are one.

V.
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of Jello Jigglers
Or the beauty of dad sweaters,
The Cosby floobity doobity
Or just after.

VI.
Pudding cups filled the long window
With BPA-filled waste.
The shadow of the Cosby
Crossed it, y'see?
The Cosby
Encased in a sweater
A zany spokesman.

VII.
O thin man of Brooklyn,
Why do you imagine healthy snacks?
Do you not see how the Cosby
Prances around the TV
To sell you chocolaty chemicals?

VIII.
I know the Huxtables
And I know the Kids Say the Darndest Things;
But I know, too,
That the Cosby was involved
in Fat Albert.

IX.
When the Cosby quit TV,
It marked the end
Of a television era.

X.
At the sight of Cosby
Gliding in a green sweater,
Even the stiffs of Boringtown
Would laugh out loudly.

XI.
He road over Brooklyn
In a Volvo PV 544.
Once, a fear pierced him.
In that he mistook
The life he lived
For Cosby's.

XII.
The New Coke is flowing,
The Cosby must be kerfufflin'.

XIII.
It was daytime all night.
It was hot.
It was going to get hotter.
The Cosby sat
With Jello Pudding Pops in hand.